Use our innovative patented funky fresh ChairF*cker simulation tech to meet the chair of your wildest dreams.
What players are saying
▲ Recommended0 hrs
as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked chair in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
It's a shallow, mildly grotesque rhythm game that obfuscates the rhythm in order to punish you for even trying. Success is mostly determined by luck but still influenced enough by skill to trick you into thinking it's actually some sort of game. In lieu of depth or wit there are smears of mostly-randomized text built upon a foundation of uninspired non sequitur and cultural reference.
If you buy it you'll only embarrass yourself and others and showcase the myriad failings of free will and capitalism.
{STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/37660032/b4b162be275b703b1c23c767312ef4765608307b.gif Your friends, enemies, and respected heroes all will appreciate the gift of CHAIR F*CKING SIMULATOR this HOLIDAY SEASON. Currently on sale 20% OFF for the Steam Winter Sale until Jan 2nd!
https://clan.akamai.steamstatic.com/images//37660032/520b4167816cc05b4ef8a9ea685a0e38933d0d89.gif Your government-assigned couch spouse has ARRIVED on the scene. So mac truck back up whack up that snack up stuff that food into those cushions and go full concentrated ham in The-Random-August-2024-ChairF*cking-Simulator-Update! Available in the starting roster, no special secret unlock crap required! WOW Also In This Update: A really stupid bug with the Achievements not unlocking promptly should be fixed. The responsible horrible person has been appropriately thrown empty into the sea. New texty bits added for the sparkling chair browsing experience
{STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/37660032/48940beb1f397a614a045d2d45a2a8c001ddb5f1.png HEY CRRAIG HIY KYLE NO CAP BRAYDEN you tired of f*cking a puny chair and watching ur billionaire friends have SICKASS sock darning lessons on their plump-ass trophy couches? BRO, double dip your shoe shine in-between these wet sofa cushions like a privileged Vice Magazine cover model. Get slapped up real good like your best friend Dustin Nathaniel David Joseph John. slide it up SLIDE IT TWICE because this couch is gonna dap up your wide wrists like an unscratched Ford visa Bronco wagon. Reload your jesus machinegun, because your government-assigned couch spouse has ARRIVED on the scene. this juicy lamb of the lake is gonna lather up your mind and soul right out of your smelly asshole. you don't need a subscription to this service, baby, because you OWN IT, you bought it forever and you can hold it in your little tiny needle fingers, ripe and sloppy with gin and beef stick grease. {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/37660032/520b4167816cc05b4ef8a9ea685a0e38933d0d89.gif Available in the starting roster, no special secret unlock crap required! WOW So rise up, workers! abolish sofas only for the rich, and feed the hungry, and let them f*ck upon the pristine wide chungaroos of a deep dish vice presidential couch. it's not a love seat, it's LOVE SEATS plural because you're riding all night and driving all day. mac truck back up whack up that snack up stuff that food into those cushions and go full concentrated ham in The-Random-August-2024-ChairF*cking-Simulator-Update! kill me please Also In This Update: A really stupid bug with the Achievements not unlocking promptly should be fixed. The responsible horrible person has been appropriately thrown empty into the sea. New texty bits added for the sparkling chair browsing experience All of our sins
Posts come from Steam's official announcements feed.
