Burger

I used to love this game. The simplistic yet captivating formula of Bun-Patty-Lettuce-Bun kept my attention for several minutes. You even get to sell each burger for several dollars and watch that bank account go through the roof!

However, they completely ruined the game for me as of June 5th- coincidentally on my birthday. The buns had been updated to have sesame seeds of all things, along with patch notes describing in detail the developer's fascination with them, putting them on a pedestal and how they were always fixated on them in their meals.

As someone with sesame allergies, this change completely disgusted me and has turned me off from ever wanting to play again until this change is reverted.

A specific trip to Five Guys sums up the journey of getting a sesame-free burger at a store that sells sesame buns perfectly. After ordering a burger without sesame seeds specifically due to life-threatening allergies, I was suggested a lettuce burger to which I reluctantly agreed. It seemed safe enough, although incredibly messy to eat. The lettuce buns were placed within touching distance of the sesame-coated buns of my friend's orders. The order was done and the server called my name. I closely examined my burger once it was handed to me, thoroughly examined each and every bite, and when I finally did take a bite paranoid thoughts would come flooding into my head accepting that "This is it. This is how I die to anaphylactic shock. By eating a centimeter-long death particle of an otherwise mediocre meal." In the end, there never was a seed in there. As of writing, I never had to take out my epipen and spend the rest of my day sitting in a hospital emergency room due to someone's sloppy burger handling or a mishearing of orders. But to think that all it would take is one slip-up from an underpaid fry cook or some unfortunate accident while assembling the burgers would be enough to theoretically kill me is enough to send me packing.

I love a good burger as much as anyone else, but due to the general quality control of fast food places and the messiness of sesame seeds comparing to that of glitter, I simply avoid burger places as much as humanly possible now. I dread ordering anything that's even not a burger from a place that sells sesame buns. I have gone so far as to order a single plate poutine from burger places which for those unacquainted- is essentially fries with gravy and cheese curds. Except I'm lactose intolerant too, so just fries in gravy. Fast food already has a reputation for being cheap, sad, unhealthy, and generally a pathetic excuse for food. Yet somehow, due to my allergy, my general experience has dropped lower than this floor-height standard.

tl;dr Due to allergies, sesame seeds on burger buns completely disgust me and has ruined fast food and an incredibly popular food option for me.

Please have an option for buns to have no sesame seeds, or even a lettuce burger option. Until then, this review will remain negative.

Bun - patty - bun

My whole life, I dreamed of learning how to cook. But nothing helped me. And then I found this game! Bun - patty - bun. Bun - patty - bun. First, I made 10, then 50, then 100, the game gave me an achievement, praised me, and made a ding sound! And that's when I realized: I had already made 100 burgers.
I was ready.

I went to the store, bought a bun, bought a patty, bought another bun. I walked home, repeating: bun - patty - bun, bun - patty - bun. I arrived home, opened my purchases, closed my eyes, and simply trusted my muscle memory, because I had already made 100 burgers in the game. Bun - patty - bun. I opened my eyes, and my first-ever self-made meal was on the table.

Thank you, game. Now I am a head chef at a famous restaurant and I tell this story to my grandchildren.

---{ Graphics }---
☑ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☑ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☑ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☑ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☑ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☑ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
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☑ 10