▼ Not recommended
1 hrs
The major issues I have with Sir, We Have An Orc Problem are dilemmas that reminded me of my time with Vampire Survivors, which urges me to say the following before diving headfirst into my complaints: If you want a low price, turn your brain off experience to dive into for a night or two, then this is a mostly OK option. If you’re familiar with that era of browser based TD games from the 2000s, or a big fan of TDs in general, you will probably find something here to enjoy for at least a little while. If you need a second browser game to passively interact with, its definitely not a bad choice (great for playing while working). If you want a TD game that gets you thinking and really involved in the strategic elements and level progression, I cannot recommend this one.
This out of the way, from my personal experience with the game, Orc Problems two greatest flaws are:
1) the absurd amount of downtime doing NOTHING it forces me through
2) how little any of it manages to resonate with me
I often find myself feeling that this game is a time traveler that somehow escaped the era it reminds me of the most, that already mentioned browser based 2000’s. I’m left scratching my head saying “they planned on charging money for this?”. $9 for a game like this feels insane to me as somebody who grew up playing browser games. It's a weird thing because there are many games uploaded to Steam nowadays that back in the day would have simply been put on a website for kids going to the computer lab to get a real hoot out of. However, those games, at least the most popular ones, always succeed in one thing that Orc Problem does not; a good gimmick that makes gameplay more interesting. Look at Among Us for one of the most signature examples of this working well in todays market. The gimmick of social interactions takes what would be the most boring, simple and dumb game idea into a pretty fun time, especially with friends.
And YES, Orc Problem does have a gimmick, two in fact. These are:
An absurdly large number of enemies on screen.
Being an incremental experience within the TD genre.
The one singular thing that Orc Problem does that can’t exist within the browser space is the mass rendering of units on screen. There are times where you have THOUSANDS of units attacking your lanes, all individually rendered with pathfinding and physical reactions to different attacks. And while this is pretty damn cool to see at first, especially when using the larger attacks that decimate thousands of orcs at once, it quickly brings out some serious problems.
Once you realize that they all flow in the same patterns over and over, and you start to zoom out more as each level gets bigger, what was mass hordes quickly becomes a giant green blob of liquid. You’re fighting a river, with no distinct masses or currents, a watery form asking you a simple yes or no of whether you’ve got the placement and DPS to win. There are no unique enemies or bosses you want to care about, you’re simply hitting the play button and watching the river flow. In fact, the only variety the green river presents to the player are variants from the upgrade tree that benefit the player, so from level one, right out the gate, you’ve seen ALL the enemy variety, nothing but differently sized copies of a green circle.
Where the REAL problems start to shine is when the incremental parts of the gameplay step forward. Unlike ANY other game in the TD genre that I’ve ever played, Orc Problem designs itself around the philosophy that the player should “grind” missions in order to fill out the upgrade tree, which in turn, completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, stops any momentum or fun the game tries to carry. I hope you’re ready to click that play button and watch your already placed turrets do the same thing over and over because that is far more of the experience than you’d probably expect. It doesn’t help that upon this realization, you can spend the first “attempt” of a level not wasting any time placing turrets, and instead hitting play and watching which routes the Orcs put most of their numbers into. Place flamethrowers at the hotspots and you’ve already done most of the work. The actual “strategy” of the experience is so damn weak because of this, very rarely are you putting much thought into where you put things after the first or second attempt on a level. You’ll probably put more thought into optimizing hitting that play again button as fast as possible more than anything you actually do in the field after the first attempt. In Orc Problem, you can start a new level expecting to lose, regardless of planning or strategy. Thats right, if you do too well and outpace what the game considers the proper speed of completion, you’re met with levels that a lot of the time your turrets can’t output enough damage for. Time to grind!
The gimmicks aside, Orc Problem as a whole doesn’t do much thats worth remembering. The basics are solid, but thats all they are, basics. There was an idea for a tower defense game with a LOT of guys and a skill tree and............they stopped right there with the bright ideas.
The art direction, as minimal as it is, leaves nothing to note once you’ve clicked out of the main menu. Different UI elements feel disjointed and unrelated when compared between menus. At first the orcs themselves are noticeable, but the minute you realize that there is zero variety outside of size, they are seen as nothing but a green blob.
Yes, its cool to see your guns mow down thousands of dudes. Its cool to see the airstrikes and the nukes blown everyone up. But once that whole gimmick of mass numbers on screen is worn down and you're face to face with the essential strategy and depth of the experience, its just not that great. There are SO many innovative TD games nowadays, and innovative indie games in general, that I just can’t tell someone to spend their money and time on this one.
And god, this game needs more on the soundtrack. If you keep that music slider up you will be driven INSANE.
This out of the way, from my personal experience with the game, Orc Problems two greatest flaws are:
1) the absurd amount of downtime doing NOTHING it forces me through
2) how little any of it manages to resonate with me
I often find myself feeling that this game is a time traveler that somehow escaped the era it reminds me of the most, that already mentioned browser based 2000’s. I’m left scratching my head saying “they planned on charging money for this?”. $9 for a game like this feels insane to me as somebody who grew up playing browser games. It's a weird thing because there are many games uploaded to Steam nowadays that back in the day would have simply been put on a website for kids going to the computer lab to get a real hoot out of. However, those games, at least the most popular ones, always succeed in one thing that Orc Problem does not; a good gimmick that makes gameplay more interesting. Look at Among Us for one of the most signature examples of this working well in todays market. The gimmick of social interactions takes what would be the most boring, simple and dumb game idea into a pretty fun time, especially with friends.
And YES, Orc Problem does have a gimmick, two in fact. These are:
An absurdly large number of enemies on screen.
Being an incremental experience within the TD genre.
The one singular thing that Orc Problem does that can’t exist within the browser space is the mass rendering of units on screen. There are times where you have THOUSANDS of units attacking your lanes, all individually rendered with pathfinding and physical reactions to different attacks. And while this is pretty damn cool to see at first, especially when using the larger attacks that decimate thousands of orcs at once, it quickly brings out some serious problems.
Once you realize that they all flow in the same patterns over and over, and you start to zoom out more as each level gets bigger, what was mass hordes quickly becomes a giant green blob of liquid. You’re fighting a river, with no distinct masses or currents, a watery form asking you a simple yes or no of whether you’ve got the placement and DPS to win. There are no unique enemies or bosses you want to care about, you’re simply hitting the play button and watching the river flow. In fact, the only variety the green river presents to the player are variants from the upgrade tree that benefit the player, so from level one, right out the gate, you’ve seen ALL the enemy variety, nothing but differently sized copies of a green circle.
Where the REAL problems start to shine is when the incremental parts of the gameplay step forward. Unlike ANY other game in the TD genre that I’ve ever played, Orc Problem designs itself around the philosophy that the player should “grind” missions in order to fill out the upgrade tree, which in turn, completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, stops any momentum or fun the game tries to carry. I hope you’re ready to click that play button and watch your already placed turrets do the same thing over and over because that is far more of the experience than you’d probably expect. It doesn’t help that upon this realization, you can spend the first “attempt” of a level not wasting any time placing turrets, and instead hitting play and watching which routes the Orcs put most of their numbers into. Place flamethrowers at the hotspots and you’ve already done most of the work. The actual “strategy” of the experience is so damn weak because of this, very rarely are you putting much thought into where you put things after the first or second attempt on a level. You’ll probably put more thought into optimizing hitting that play again button as fast as possible more than anything you actually do in the field after the first attempt. In Orc Problem, you can start a new level expecting to lose, regardless of planning or strategy. Thats right, if you do too well and outpace what the game considers the proper speed of completion, you’re met with levels that a lot of the time your turrets can’t output enough damage for. Time to grind!
The gimmicks aside, Orc Problem as a whole doesn’t do much thats worth remembering. The basics are solid, but thats all they are, basics. There was an idea for a tower defense game with a LOT of guys and a skill tree and............they stopped right there with the bright ideas.
The art direction, as minimal as it is, leaves nothing to note once you’ve clicked out of the main menu. Different UI elements feel disjointed and unrelated when compared between menus. At first the orcs themselves are noticeable, but the minute you realize that there is zero variety outside of size, they are seen as nothing but a green blob.
Yes, its cool to see your guns mow down thousands of dudes. Its cool to see the airstrikes and the nukes blown everyone up. But once that whole gimmick of mass numbers on screen is worn down and you're face to face with the essential strategy and depth of the experience, its just not that great. There are SO many innovative TD games nowadays, and innovative indie games in general, that I just can’t tell someone to spend their money and time on this one.
And god, this game needs more on the soundtrack. If you keep that music slider up you will be driven INSANE.
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